Monday, March 25, 2024

Le Roi a arrete!

 


The King has been arested!  Na-na-na-na-boo-boo!

We revolutionaries gave up on the King's Metro system and rather fell back on Ye-Olde-Uber to coordinate our attacks.  King Louie was unable to capriciously authorize who made it through his Metro System via the process of de-magnetization, and the Tulieres Palace - now destroyed, rebuilt, and known as The Louvre was stormed.  His Swiss Guard was massacred and he was arrested.  Luckily, a picture of the assault on the Swiss Guards was captured below:


After the King's capture, we were able to reap the spoils of his palace.  One of our young mob was able to explain to us the meaning of a headless, armless sculpture called the "The Winged Victory of Samothrace."  Apparently, in a famous Baseball movie titled The Sandlot, the winged goddess of victory -- Nike -- was mentioned.   I have seen this movie maybe 1,000 times, and I don't remember this part, so I must watch it 1,001 times now, but the oldest member of our young mob knew what this sculpture represented and insisted that we take a photo.


After this, there were several moments that foreshadowed the future.  


King Louie had a photo of Marat dead in a bathtub.  Rumors are that a Catholic girl - Charlotte Corday - is plotting his demise.  Our audacious leader George Jacque Danton has also fled the city and rumors are that he has fallen in love with a different Catholic girl - Louise Sebastien Gely.  It appears that she and her religious beliefs have caused a change of heart in Danton, and she is lobbying for him to save his soul by returning to Paris to stop the Reign of Terror that has begun and has seen many, many people guillotined to death.   


With the spoils that King Louie left, one of our revolutionaries grasped the crown from the Pope's clutches, told the Pope to sit down and shut up, and then crowned himself.  The Pope, simply being at the service, marked the return of the Catholic clergy and religion to the French society.


Revolutionaries and Insurrectionists must have fun, so here they are recreating one of the many sculptures looted during the Insurrection and Revolution.  This sculpture is titled, Le Roi a arrete.


One of the members of the haphazard mob who arrested King Louie took to the royal food stores.  At gunpoint, he forced the royal chef to cook him snails.  He called this Escargot, which sounds really, really fancy.  He said it was good.  He made two of his junior revolutionaries eat them as well.   They said it was good.   I said, "YOU ARE EATING SNAILS!"  and I almost converted to the Catholic, royalist resistance to our revolution right then and there! 


Luckily, I soon met an impressive revolutionary - Monsieur Eiffel.  He was working on building a grand, iron structure in celebration of our revolution.   He showed me images of the illuminated tower, and exclaimed that he could have lights sparkle at every hour on the hour after sundown to celebrate our revolution.   That was it.  I put the silly thoughts of joining the royalist Catholic resistance behind me.  It was then that I began to conspire against our leader Danton and his new alleged conversion to Catholicism.  Guillotines may be required. 

Tomorrow, we go to the Sacre Coeur...  I believe Danton will be there in the morning... 





 

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